The Litany Against Fear

I will not fear. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. (Frank Herbert)

Friday, October 16, 2009

Countdown On

Everything has progressed normally...it's really quite boring. The amniotic fluid dropped as usual after treatment, but we started at such a high number (12) that the drop to 8 didn't really matter. It's been a couple of weeks and it's starting to climb now. All her ultrasounds looked pretty good, her dopplers (blood flows) look great, and her NST's (non-stress test: checks for heart rate and movement) have all been perfect. Alas, she's still not growing, and they're worried (I'm worried too) about the potential return of my cancer as a result of postponing my Herceptin treatments a few weeks at a time. So, since she is doing so well on all fronts but size they've decided to evict her early. In one week in fact! I'll be induced Friday October 23rd at 36 weeks!

She'll probably spend awhile in the NICU getting special care and attention until she puts on weight and is breathing well and keeping her temp up. In the mean time, I'll be getting my first CT/PET and full MRI scans in months. Yikes! Soon I'll know if was all worth it or if the risk I took was just too great. I hope I will take one look at my baby girl and know I did the right thing. I hope that will give me strength on the day I get my test results back.

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