The Litany Against Fear

I will not fear. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. (Frank Herbert)

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Long Overdue Update

I am still in remission above and below the neck. Great. Still feel like crap though. Dr. Lee believes it is depression from the brain tumor and Peter losing his job. He prescribed an anti-depressant, but it made my chest hurt so my heart can't take it. It was a medication that was created for people with heart problems so there's nothing else. Dr. Lee is sending me to a psychiatrist to see what a specialist can do to help me.

I managed to get a non-profit to help with some of the costs of our health care (that we're paying for with Peter's unemployment), but I'm looking at about $4000 in bills this year and it's only the end of March!

We are moving out of our house in Seattle to the suburbs. We'll be living with friends, so that'll be challenging. My biggest fear is how all our cats will get along. My second biggest fear is how they will react when I hit my next set-back. People don't realize how many little set-backs there are with cancer. I tell people most of the big ones, but the little ones aren't worth mentioning. Now our friends will be witness to them too. I'm afraid they'll be overwhelmed. It's really not fair to force my issues on them, so I will do my best to keep things under wraps. If there were any other option right now I'm not sure I'd have agreed to this.

Finally, my baby girl (cat) is sick. She has a hyperthyroid. It cost us $400 to figure out what was causing her symptoms. She's on medication now and it seems to be working, but medication isn't the cure. The cure is radiation! No money for that, so we're treating the symptoms not the disease. Why does this sound familiar?