The Litany Against Fear

I will not fear. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. (Frank Herbert)

Monday, December 31, 2007

Mass Effect

I don't usually broadcast to the world how much of a geek I am. Most people who know me are well aware of this fact but I typically do my best to avoid doing or saying anything that reminds people just how geeky I really am. That said, I have to announce that I absolutely love Mass Effect! I've been waiting for this game to come out on the Xbox 360 for a long time now, and since getting it for Christmas I can't go a day without playing it. It is visually amazing, as near to life-like as possible for a game console. When you first begin to create your character it is slightly alarming to see such a lifelike face staring back at you. (Thus illustrating the paradox that the more realistic the characters become the creepier it is to play them.) Once you get over the "whoa" response, you get to make your characters features to your liking. The best part about the game is that it looks cinematic during actual game-play, and my character is in every scene right down to the small scar that I chose when I made her. It is so sweet it makes me giddy. Taking place in space it has a galaxy that you can explore at your whim. You can follow the main plot straight through or go off on your own and visit strange new worlds, and seek out new life and new civilizations. Well, there's really not much of the last two because the worlds that are open to exploration are largely unsettled. It's not limitless, but there is certainly a degree of freedom to the game that is unusual for most console games. The only downside is that it is RPG heavy. In other words, you do a lot of talking to people and no where near as much fighting as games like Halo or Call of Duty, which are all fighting. There's a lot of dialogue and a lot of different choices you can make to direct the dialogue. You can be super nice, an asshole or somewhere in between and the people you talk to will act accordingly. You get the same information no matter how you play it, but the tone of the conversation definately changes and sometimes it is harder to charm the information out of a character then it is to threaten them and vice versa. If you like that sort of game and own a 360 I highly, highly recommend buying Mass Effect. It's just plain awesome. Now I'm off to play! Later!

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Junk and Despair

Peter and I are pack rats. We have so much crap that our drawers and closets are overflowing, and our whole house is just one big mess. Looking around the room I can see the disorganized closet in full view for anyone to see (it doesn’t have a door). There are boxes, paper, bags, doll clothes I want to sell on Ebay, a large blank canvas painting, and a big picnic basket full of Christmas presents that need to be wrapped. My desk is littered with photographs, notebooks, knickknacks and doodads, papers, pens, and of all things, a paper mache mask. There is a dead monitor in the corner next to my mom’s old sewing machine. Our art supply cabinet looks like someone set a bomb off inside and now half of what it should neatly contain is actually on the floor. Paid bills, receipts, and instruction manuals are stacked on top of the filing cabinet because we’re too lazy to actually put them inside it. There are two more canvases in the room; paintings that are never quite finished enough to make it onto a wall. A drawer overflowing with Peter’s projects sits in the middle of the room. There is a stack of old newspapers, an old telephone, cameras, cords, headphones, and boxes of computer shit we never use and will never need to use. This is all in a room probably a little bigger then your typical office cubical, and doesn’t include Peter’s desk behind me (I’m afraid to look). When we finally get fed up with the crap our closets can no longer hold the shit gets tossed into the basement. Except for camping gear and holiday decorations, most of the shit down there is never wanted, needed, or seen ever again. I hate living like this. I feel uncomfortable in every room, and all the useless clutter is oppressive and depressing. Peter says we have higher priorities then keeping neat and organized. I just feel lazy, dirty, and completely overwhelmed. I have plenty of time on my hands yet I sit in this pathetic mess every day and do little to improve it. Even as bad as this house makes me feel I am still not motivated enough to roll up my shirt sleeves and get to work. I have lots of excuses. Foremost of them is that I don’t want to do it alone. Just thinking of how much time and effort it would take to get this house in good shape exhausts me. I would also have to prepare myself for an all out battle with my husband. Hard to believe, but Peter is worse then I am. The amount of truly useless crap he holds onto astounds me. Whenever I suggest we get rid of things he says he wants to at least try to give some of it away first. Not only do I doubt that anyone would want any of this shit, I feel that we’re beyond that. If it were possible, I’d have one of those big garbage bins delivered and I’d just throw it all away. It might be wasteful and bad for the environment, but right now my own personal environment is so toxic and polluted that I’d be more than willing to do it. So, overwhelmed with the amount of work to be done, and knowing the resistance I will get should I attempt a major overhaul of the entire house, I wallow in self-pity and despair. We need an intervention. We need help…serious help. Any volunteers?