The Litany Against Fear

I will not fear. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. (Frank Herbert)

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

"Goodnight Wesley. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning."

I have DSPS: Delayed Sleep-Phase Syndrome

It means my internal clock is all wacky and I’m wide awake when you all are sleeping soundly in bed. Note that the time of this post is 3:40 am, and I’ve been staying up until 6am off and on for the last month or so. If it’s not one thing it’s another with me huh? Well I took melatonin for a few nights and it worked but then I stopped because I’m afraid I’ll become dependant. I’ve always had insomnia and when it got really bad in college my doctor told me to take benedryl. I don’t think she expected me to stay on it very long, but that’s what happened. I couldn’t sleep without it and I couldn’t risk not sleeping and missing work or class. Then my heart started acting up and it became obvious that the benedryl was the cause, so with the help of my dad and my husband (then fiance) I kicked my dependancy. It was an unpleasant process and one that I’d rather not go through again. But I have to do something because the alternative is equally unpleasant. So tomorrow I’ll take the melatonin again and this time I’ll take it for a couple of weeks like my doctor told me to.

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