Pain and Itching

September 9, 2008 I had gamma knife radiation to the spot in my brain where the tumor was. All my docs told me radiation wasn't painful, and that the contraption that would be screwed onto my head would only cause a "little pressure, and some minor discomfort." Liars!

First they gave me lidocane shots to the 4 spots on my head where the screws would go. Lidocane is what dentists use and feels like a bee sting. Then they pulled out a metal contraption that was screwed onto my head. (Check out the pictures in my "brain surgery" album.) After some measurements and scans the doctors finally came up with a plan and started the radiation.

It turns out that the location of the tumor was in an area too difficult for the gamma knife machine to make the calibrations on its own. This meant that each calibration, 9 in all, had to be done manually. It was a process that took twice as long and required twice as much manipulation (straining and pulling) of the contraption screwed to my head. By the 7th calibration, the lidocane was wearing off. I sucked it up like a trooper but relief was a long way off. Removing the contraption is normally painless, but since I was no longer numb I felt everything. Peter did his best to distract me from the discomfort, and the nurse gave me some Tylenol, but neither helped much. I was promised that I'd be given more serious pain medications as soon as I was moved to the room I was going to stay in overnight.

Dirty, filthy liars! Of course there was confusion, and nobody was sure what was going on, and the medication hadn't been ordered, and I'm fucking cursed! Peter left to move the car and by the time he got back I was crying hysterically from the pain. He did a fabulous job keeping me calm and if not for him I would have completely lost it. Finally, they gave me Toradol, but it only dulled the pain. Then my nurse gave me Vicodin on top of the Tylenol and Toradol. Things got remarkably better after that.

The rest of the night was relatively quiet and uneventful. In the morning I was given more pain med and discharged. By mid-afternoon, the pain med wore off, and I remembered that having holes in one's head is painful. I immediately rifled through my stash of meds and found one that I took after my brain surgery. Things got better after that as well…

…until Thursday when the itching started. I don't know how chemo and radiation have made me so hypersensitive to meds, but it's fucking irritating as hell. A med I took a month ago without a problem now gives my hives. Luckily, the pain isn't too bad because, when faced with the choice of pain or itching, I opted for pain. However, it's 3am, my head hurts, and I'm still so itchy that I can't sleep. If it isn't one thing, it's always another.